It is painful to seen an opportunity missed.

The one that concerns me at the moment might not seem like a big deal, but I believe I can convince you that it matters. Specifically, I am referring to bad bar/bat mitzvah gifts.

This kid has been training for BM for a year or more. They have been learning the prayers and the Torah portion, coming to services, meeting with the rabbi. Finally the big day comes, they do everything so beautifully, and the rabbi, or cantor, or congregation president, or president of the sisterhood or whoever gives them a gift from the synagogue and it's...

...usually something they cannot imagine using in the near future. A Bible, a prayerbook, a book about prayer, a kiddush cup - these are all things that they might - and hopefully will - use down the line. But by giving such gifts, we are also saying, "We don't really have anything that you will want to use right now, but in 10 years, you'll be glad to have this book/cup/etc.

Who knows? Maybe they will open that book in ten years and find it to be meaningful. But maybe it will be too late by then. Maybe the window that was opened around they bar/bat mitzvah will be quite closed by then, and they won't have a place in their heart or mind to appreciate it.

Further, they may sense what I call the "relevance gap" - if they get the sense that their tradition has nothing to offer them at this age, maybe it has nothing to offer them later. Maybe their Jewishness has nothing more than bagels and nostalgia to offer them. It could be that they'll find Jewish meaning again in college, but that is a big risk to take. So, yes, a lot rests on what we communicate to our young people as their bar/bat mitzvah ends and the teenage years begin. And you can say a lot with a gift.

So, yes. An opportunity missed.

I wrote this book to fill that gap. I want there to be good, useful, fun, inviting, engaging, intriguing books that relate to the challenges of being a teenager, that address issues of self-esteem and resilience and self-awareness and making good choices and staying on track and getting back on track when you get off track, books that relate to anger and despair, identity and adults, the need to be alone and the need to have good friends, asking for help and being self-reliant.

So I wrote one. Here it is.

And I want you to help me get it into the hands of all the young Jews out there who would benefit from such a book. Here are two ways you can help me do that.